1. It is descriptive rather than evaluative
Describe your own reaction, so that the receiver is free to use it or not to use it, as he/she sees fit. Adding your judgment or ‘opinion’ tends to elicit defensiveness
2. It is specific rather than general
To be told that one is “dominating” will probably not be as useful as to be told that, “Just now when we were deciding the issue, you did not listen to what others did, and I felt forced to accept your arguments or face attack from you”
3. It takes into account the needs of both the receiver and giver of feedback
Feedback can be destructive when it serves only our own needs and fails to consider the needs of the person on the receiving end
4 It is directed towards behaviour which the receiver can do something about
Frustration is only increased when a person is reminded of some shortcoming over which he has no control
5. It is asked for, rather than imposed
Feedback is most useful when the receiver himself has formulated the kind of question which those observing him can answer
6. It is well timed
In general, feedback is most useful at the earliest opportunity after the given behaviour (depending, of course, on the person’s readiness to hear it, support available from others, etc)
7. It is checked to assure clear communication
One way of doing this is to have the receiver try to rephrase the feedback he has received to see if it corresponds to what the sender has in mind.
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